Solo pleasure after childbirth: What if that was the key to happiness?

Reclaiming a fulfilling sex life after childbirth is no easy feat. The world is turned upside down: a complicated relationship with yourself, a sometimes different relationship with your partner, and intimacy that needs to be rediscovered. It’s often said, but the key to regaining sexual pleasure after childbirth is communication. Indeed. However, while waiting to find harmony again, your body and intimacy also have something to say…

Sara, mom of little Enzo (3 months), shares her experience:

"After giving birth, I thought I’d be eager to get my husband's body back… but in reality, not at all! I felt completely flabby, and I had trouble being touched. I couldn’t embrace my new mom body. Plus, my perineum was not in good shape either… Zero sensations. Between my low libido and a vagina that seemed to have given up, it wasn’t easy to initiate anything."

6 Weeks Without Penetration After Birth

This is the recommendation for new moms after leaving the hospital, to give the uterus time to return to its place and heal. Six weeks for some may seem like an eternity. Thankfully, penetration is not necessary to cuddle. Looks, caresses, massages... you probably have plenty of ideas!

“He wanted to go further as soon as we went to bed, while I was already thinking about the baby who would soon wake up for his 11 p.m. bottle. I was more in the mood during the day, during our son's nap, but at that time, my husband was at work… Our desires just kept missing each other. Then I realized I needed this time for myself, to reconnect with my body… but still, this body sometimes had burning, sultry cravings that I needed to satisfy now. Without anyone by my side, just me with myself, in the sincerest of confidences. And honestly, it’s in those moments that I truly reached the seventh heaven.”

Sex After Birth: Ease Back Into It Gradually

It’s best to start with non-penetrative sex, like masturbation through play. Then, couples can slowly resume penetration, starting gently. Be mindful of any after-effects from childbirth (tears, episiotomy, cesarean, etc.), which might cause discomfort during the first few sexual encounters.

It’s also recommended to choose positions that reduce pressure on the lower belly and perineum, allowing you to reconnect:

• Missionary (without pressing on the belly)
• Spooning (shallow penetration)
• Andromache (woman on top, facing the man lying down) to control penetration and sensations (and possible pain).

Avoid trying new positions or practices for now ! Take advantage of these moments to reconnect with some tried-and-true methods. :)