Does baby only fall asleep at the breast? Is it really that bad?

A Drop of Milk and a Heart Full of Love

A drop of milk glistens at the corner of his mouth, the scent of your skin filled with happiness hormones, the warmth of your comforting arms cradling him, the soothing rhythm of your heartbeat… Only nestled against you does your little one finally surrender, full and content, to a peaceful, serene sleep. And honestly, who could blame him? Between a cold, unfamiliar crib and the warm, soft embrace of his mother, the choice is obvious!

But behind this beautiful moment, you find yourself full of questions—because your baby will only fall asleep at the breast. And then, that voice echoes in your mind: your old aunt saying, “You’re making him completely dependent! You’ll never get out of this!”

Well, here’s the good news…

There is nothing abnormal about a baby who only falls asleep at the breast!

To you, it’s obvious that you love your baby and that he is safe—even if you step away while he sleeps. But your baby doesn’t know that yet. He needs to feel your presence and constantly reassure himself that everything is okay. Nursing provides that comfort, helping him let his guard down and drift off to sleep more easily. Taking it away too soon could cause unnecessary stress.

Yes, we know—it can be frustrating. The other parent might want to be more involved in the bedtime routine, and you might wish you could pass the baton once in a while. But rest assured: just because he only falls asleep at the breast now doesn’t mean it will always be that way. This is simply a normal stage in your baby’s development.

First, Security—Then, Independence

For a baby who needs reassurance, falling asleep at the breast teaches him that bedtime isn’t a time to face stress alone, but a moment of comfort and affection. He learns that loving arms will always be there when needed. This daily reassurance builds the confidence he’ll need when he begins exploring his environment and testing his abilities. Deep down, he’ll know that if he encounters failure or difficult emotions, he can always return to you before setting off on new adventures.

Trust Your Baby to Let Go When He’s Ready

Every child has unique nutritional and emotional needs. When your little one finds other ways to seek comfort—through bedtime routines, cuddles, bath time, or a bedtime story—he will naturally begin to detach from the breast.

I remember when Noah had fully transitioned to solid foods but still asked for his bedtime nursing session. When one of my aunts found out, she was scandalized. She was convinced I was raising an adult who would be completely incapable of managing life. I laugh about it now, but at the time, her words affected me more than I let on.

Luckily, my partner and I were on the same page, so we chose to continue. Noah stopped nursing to sleep at 26 months. I still remember that night—he placed his hand on my breast but didn’t try to latch. Instead, he just played with it for a moment, smiled at me, and let me know he’d rather read the awesome book his dad had bought the day before.

— Louisa, 28 years old, mother of one

You don’t have to feel guilty for not “succeeding” in getting your baby to fall asleep alone in his crib. Nor should you feel guilty for those exhausting days when, just for once, you let your baby cry at bedtime. We know you’re doing your best. ❤️